.:.fifty first blog.:.

When I switched to the egoddess persona, I vowed to make that blog as the permanent blog I'd have for a long time. But when I saw this domain courtesy of a good friend, I decided to move right away, no second thoughts. I am grateful to my former host but I feel that this provider is so right for me. It's really love at first sight! hehehehe Aside from the obvious reasons, I also switched blog because the layout that you see personifies the new me. I actually surprised myself when I was going over the selection of the templates and graphics they have available, when I chose these stuffs that you now see. Over the years that I have been blogging, I always find myself gravitating towards selecting templates with not only dark but black backgrounds, and images reflecting an emptiness and a brokenness inside me that i have no name for. all the time! You may check out all my blogs just to find out.

this is the first and longest blog that I maintained but I changed it's url several times when I feel that some people were trying to get too personal. Here's a variant of that blog. If you'll check out the archive list on the bluerlyn url, you'll notice that there are months that I did not log an entry for the said blog, that was when I temporarily switched to another provider. Check it out. Then finally after bluerlyn, I changed persona to egoddess. The said blog was born out of a desire to become anonymous once again in the blogging world, but this time I feel that there is no need to hide anymore. I liked being egoddess for a while but I definitely like being aMgiNe! In a way going back to the original web nick I've grown accustomed to, is very significant of my personal life. I will no longer let other people's opinion of what I am and who I am, determine what I become. If my deceased paternal grandmother and grand aunt used to place me consistently on the spot of a second best well that's over. I don't have to live that part for the rest of my life. Things have to change. It's water under the bridge now and I have already forgiven them. Time's a changing. The little girl in me will play and laugh again. I have repressed her for too long. But now people will once again hear echoes of her giggles and laughters.

I used to have a secret blog in order to vent out, to freely lambast people i am not at liberty to criticize out in the open, and mostly to document my laments over my relationship with my long time boyfriend, now turned husband. I was then playing a tug of war over my emotions. Loving and hating and hating and loving. I decided to chose one once and for all. I married him and he's given me the best gift he could ever give a woman he chooses to love - his name. We may have had difficulties in the past, mostly because of our own undoing, we had a lot of growing up to do. And now through God's grace we have turned a new chapter of our lives, as husband and wife.

This marks a new chapter in my life, in our life. I chose you to witness the unfolding of God's loving kindness to me and to my husband. I know that it will not be a smooth road ahead, I'm expecting to hit a few bumps along the way but we will go through it while holding on to God's hands.