forlorn

i wrote this a couple of days before i turned 26. I was kinda hoping that that "feeling" will no longer haunt me after I turn 26 and after the day I turn 26. But boy was I wrong.

Left in the company of the four corners of our bed chamber for a week and for another next week, the internet is my only entertainment. But then again, sometimes too much curiousity causes one to stumble upon things best unknown.

Trying to forget what I saw a couple of hours ago, I decided to browse thru friend's blogs wishing there'd be snippets to clue me in what's going on with their lives as of late. I got to Honey's page and I saw what she wrote for me sometime last year. For online friends who knew my old urls, you might have had the chance to read Ever after in one of my entries. I'm  posting my entry here to refresh your memory and for my new friends to read thru the beauty of the said article.

Sunday, April 23, 2006

.:.MiRRoR of mY heArt.:.

We were merely people who work for the same company; she was a familiar face, mostly to be seen outside during fifteen minute breaks, indulging her cancer cells, while I, a reformed nicotine-dependent (ehem ehem six months na po! Bow), would simply go out to savor the company of friends who are still into the habit.

Ever After

honey 4/20

I was desperately trying to hold back my tears and when I finished her entry. And when I looked at her, I knew she understood completely, she just showed me a mirror of my heart. She didn’t say another word, she just smiled and we walked out of the room - I, to go home after a long tiring day, she on the other hand, to feed her cancer cells once again.

What could have happened, had I refused to respond to those text messages and missed calls that registered on my phone last December of 2005? What if I changed my mobile number back then? What if I waited for God's perfect will? I know there is no way I'll ever find out and perhaps even if God will show me what life would've been had I waited, I will just feel terribly miserable.

Gee this is not even post partum!

tagged =)

been rather off the blogging world as of late. not because of work or anything but due to plain laziness. haha anyway, my blog assignments have piled up and i think i ought to start accomplishing them before i get tagged again. as of the moment, i've already been tagged twice. well make it three, the first one, i actually requested. hehe so to annamanila, here are my answers to your questions. 

1. Your beautiful baby boy has just been placed on your throbbing bosom. What will be the first thing you will tell him (as you know he would surely understand, the newborn that he is). 

- I really do not how its going to be when i first hold him in my arms. I guess I'd be kissing his chubby cheeks while I utter a prayer of thanksgiving because the Lord entrusted me with something so precious.

2. There is time for everything and for everything there's a season. How would you call or name or describe this very season you ae exeriencing right now.

- Right now my husband and I are experiencing a season of waiting. Everything seems to be on hold. We're waiting for God's word on a lot of things. It seems that God will reveal his will to us, (career wise, financial and spiritual) all together once the baby comes out. 

3. As you choose your baby's name, you also decide to choose a second name for yourself — what will these two names be?

- The baby's first name is Paul, we wanted to pick a name that's biblical. My husband wanted to go for the name Peter but Peter has been rebuked by Jesus several times and I feel that Paul's testimony is more inspiring. Thus the name Paul. I'm not quite sure about picking a second name for myself so I guess I wont be able to answer that. hehe

4. Summer is scorching for all of us here in Pinas. How much more was it for a lady 6-7 months preggie. How did you cope?

- There is only one way we know how. hehe My husband has no choice but to spoil me and keep the air-conditioner day in and day out. The only down side to it is the sky-rocketing electric bill monthly. hehe 

5. The grass is greener at the other side of the fence. By same token, the fish that got away also seem fatter. Myth/illusion both — don't you think?

- I used to believe that, and sometimes I'm still tempted to think of it that way. But carrying this child in my womb, I'm actually glad that some people got away.

Well  that is the first tag i will answer, it sure is fun since the questions were very personalized. I will give you guys a chance to be interviewed as well..

Interview rules:1. Leave me a comment saying "Interview me."2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someonelse in the same post.5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

sneak peak

To annamanila, I know I promised to answer the questions for the interview me blog entry yesterday. Sorry about that. I will do so on my next entry. This is to give way to the much awaited blog entry. Please check out our pretty boy's first ever photo shoot. We already have a name for the little guy, but will announce it when he's born. Anyway, enjoy the pics. Golly! I can't get over how cute and he is.

Shy baby

Handsome with a capital H

Chubby cheeks

Sleepyhead

Wanna use the phone this early baby?

Gazing at our baby’s face

Last week we had the 3d/4d ultrasound at the Medical City. It was morning of the 1st of June, and I was accompanied by my dad and brother going to the hospital, while hubby met me there since he came from shift. While at the waiting area on the women's health care department, we saw several posters that has information concerning different types of ultrasound. As for 3d/4d ultrasound, it says that it may not always be successful, in terms of capturing the baby's image, since it will entirely depend on the baby's position. If the baby is not in a good position, then parents are requested to come back after an hour or two to try again. However, if by then, the baby still refuses to show his face, then you will be requested to come back another time. That is because any additional trial will be harmful for the baby. Upon reading that I immediately prayed that our little boy would be in the mood to have his very first photo shoot.

We got there 9am. I was already lying in the bed, then the OB introduced herself to me. They were about to call hubby when she saw my referral slip (my OB is from UST, but since the 4d ultrasound machine that UST bought is not of good quality, they had it shipped back to be exchanged for  better machine. Thus we were referred to Medical city which is so much closer to home) and saw that my OB requested a different OB to do the ultrasound for me. I was ready to go through the entire process and downright excited that I was about to tell her its okay. But then again, before I opened my mouth to coax her to proceed, she said she needs to follow my OB's request and that my OB (Dra. Decena), was her professor in UST Med School. So I had no other choice but to go ahead and stand up and go back to the waiting area and join my already sleepy hubby, dad and bro.

The doctor we were referred to arrived a few minutes after 10am. Shortly after she arrived, I was called in. She then asked me to lie down and has already put that clear gel on my tummy, hubby was asked to come into the room and she went ahead and checked on our little boy. But she said she wanted to transfer to the other room where she has a better feel of the machine. So we did. When we got there, we were so excited to find out how our little boy looks like. He was either a bit shy at first or was purposely teasing us to build excitement as his feet and hands were covering his face. We talked to him telling him to let us gaze into his little face, and he obliged! He then removed his feet, then slowly he removed his right hand, and finally he removed his left hand and put it on the side of his face. The first thing that we saw is his nose. I've been praying really hard that he wont have a flat nose, and the Lord granted my request. Because the OB delightedly announced: "Wow ang tangos ng ilong!" His cheeks were so round, the doctor kept saying "What a beautiful baby! Very healthy." I could not find words to capture exactly how I felt the time I was seeing him moving. In the picture he even smiled for us, as if happy to be having his first ever picture taken. I looked at my husband, and he is a picture of a proud dad. His smile is from ear to ear.

We were given (4) four pictures. 3 of his head shots, while hubby requested that the OB take a picture of his genital area to brag about the fact that he is a boy. The doctor happily obliged and was even humorous to put 3 arrows pointing to the penis and the balls. And she typed in the words = "I'm a BOY!". We were ecstatic. Especially everytime the doctor kept on saying he's healthy and that there are no signs of any abnormality - down syndrome, hydrocephalus (dunno how to spell it) etc., and that everything is fine and dandy.

It took about 15 minutes and then we were told to go back for the result of the normal ultrasound (which we're suppose to show my OB the next day) after an hour and for the rest of the pictures and the CD after 7 business days.

My hubby is yet to take a picture of the 4d ultrasound. I've been pestering him for days already. He said he will on the weekend. So please pardon me, since we have yet to upload the picture then. But I definitely will upload it. hehe talk about a proud mama!