Lucia - In memoriam

She made my childhood more memorable and a lot happier with her visits. I know she spoils me with treats whenever she and my grandfather would visit and stay with us for a few days. Likewise, she loves telling me stories of the war and how her life was as a child, a wife and a mother of eight. She loves tucking me to bed and stroking my hair while I ask her to tell me her stories despite the fact that I've heard them so many times.  There wasn't a time when she told me I'm her favorite as well as my brother among her MANY grandchildren, but we just know. During Christmas morning, when we'd go to their house to kiss her hand and ask for our "aguinaldo", she will secretly give me and my brother a hundred pesos each while the rest of our cousins will get ten or twenty pesos. =)

I was already working the last time she stayed with us. I was then staying with my mom in Makati and mom picked lola up to spend a week with us. Now that was really memorable. As my relatives and close friends know that I cannot go to bed without taking a shower. That time, I was way too sleepy to dry my hair and so I went to sleep right away.  Lola woke me up and gave me a sermon, telling me I shouldn't sleep till my hair is dry. So I obliged and tried drying my hair using the fan. When I saw that my grandmother is already asleep, I then went back to bed - which I was sharing with her then, and went right back to sleep. A few minutes after, when I'm already half asleep, I felt lola feeling my hair to find out if I did dry my hair. Of course she went berserk when she found out my hair just half dry. So she woke me up again and this time I got a longer sermon to which my mom and I were laughing about the morning after.

Yesterday, we were told that she's passed away already. My mom went to visit her sometime after I gave birth. She told me that lola might not finish this year. I was then planning to visit her on her birthday - Sept 16. It will be Nathan's second month and we're thinking of cooking up a little feast to celebrate lola' s birthday and Nathan's second month. Sadly, she wasn't able to wait for it. She never saw my little boy. I'm trying not to cry as I continue this entry. I've already accepted the fact that she will be leaving us sometime this year. But I really wanted her to see my baby before she goes. We do not want to bring the baby anywhere (except of course for his check ups and shots) till he's at least 2 months old. That's why I'm thinking it would have been perfect to celebrate his second month with lola's 84th birthday. Unfortunately, she wasn't able to hold on long enough. My mom was crying over the same thing yesterday. It means so much to her to bring Nathan to lola, since Nathan is her (my mom) first grand child. And it broke my heart even more when I saw my mom weeping.

My grandmother lived a full life. She was blessed with eight children and a lot of grandchildren (don't ask me cause I don't know how many hehe) and great grand children. She is a beautiful woman inside and out, a woman of great faith in the Lord.  She has touched a lot of lives by sharing a piece of herself to them, be it a kind word, a laugh or a helping hand, one time she even raised a child (one of her daughters-in-law's niece) who used to be ill and unable to walk, but the child lived and was able to walk and is now in London. And I know that the lives of those people she came across with were never the same. 

My last picture with lola, taken on February 3, 2007. With us in the picture is my cousin Crystal.  

  Me, my mom, lola, Crystal and tita Teresita

To my Lola,

Thank you for enriching my childhood with lots of loving memories. You will always be my favorite lola. I'm deeply sorry I was not able to visit you soon enough after I gave birth. I wished that I had the chance to kiss and embrace you one last time. Thank you for everything. I promise that I will be a good daughter to my parents, a faithful wife to my husband and a loving mother to my son. And in the future when the Lord blesses me with grandchildren, I will be the kind of grand mother that you were to me, the kind that brings light in this dark and cruel world. 

Goodbye Lola. I love you.

Lucia, a 2-syllable girl's name of Latin origin, means: Bringer of light. 

Lucia C. Punay
September 16, 1923 - August 27, 2007

kirby

i have always wanted to post a new entry about how motherhood gave my life a 180-degree turn and how my son is such a joy to us. Somehow, my laziness almost always gets in the way. Sadly, I am posting a different entry today. I'm blogging now to remember a friend, to celebrate his life and to mourn his death. I met Kirby when they (him, Cassandra and Kami) helped us pioneer a new department - cyber response (email support) in our campaign. He is a kind-hearted guy with a great sense of humor. He is definitely one of our favorite red hats (term used for expats sent here to pioneer a campaign), he's always ready to give a helping hand, be it with how to resolve a difficult customer complaint, how to properly disposition the emails or just how pull a prank on one of our colleagues. One time he went to one of our operations manager's cubicle and trashed all the shred papers inside his lateral. The other time, he did kidnap the other ops manager's favorite doll (hello kitty), and placed a couple of ads that kitty is missing. In line with that, he sent an email to the ops manager giving a list of things they - the kidnappers wanted as ransom for kitty. I do not remember the exact things they had on the list, but i do remember one of it was a pack of pastillas de leche among some other pinoy sweets. Before they left for the US, they gave back kitty along with a scrap book of kitty's travels together with his kidnappers. Those were just one of the things that he did to make everyone laugh.

Last week I received an email from Kami informing us that he was air lifted to salt lake city hospital for his surgery. and he was put on a medically induced coma to prevent his lungs and kidneys from failing. Unfortunately the doctors tried to bring him out of coma several times. And yesterday, the life support has been turned off. He will surely be missed.

forlorn

i wrote this a couple of days before i turned 26. I was kinda hoping that that "feeling" will no longer haunt me after I turn 26 and after the day I turn 26. But boy was I wrong.

Left in the company of the four corners of our bed chamber for a week and for another next week, the internet is my only entertainment. But then again, sometimes too much curiousity causes one to stumble upon things best unknown.

Trying to forget what I saw a couple of hours ago, I decided to browse thru friend's blogs wishing there'd be snippets to clue me in what's going on with their lives as of late. I got to Honey's page and I saw what she wrote for me sometime last year. For online friends who knew my old urls, you might have had the chance to read Ever after in one of my entries. I'm  posting my entry here to refresh your memory and for my new friends to read thru the beauty of the said article.

Sunday, April 23, 2006

.:.MiRRoR of mY heArt.:.

We were merely people who work for the same company; she was a familiar face, mostly to be seen outside during fifteen minute breaks, indulging her cancer cells, while I, a reformed nicotine-dependent (ehem ehem six months na po! Bow), would simply go out to savor the company of friends who are still into the habit.

Ever After

honey 4/20

I was desperately trying to hold back my tears and when I finished her entry. And when I looked at her, I knew she understood completely, she just showed me a mirror of my heart. She didn’t say another word, she just smiled and we walked out of the room - I, to go home after a long tiring day, she on the other hand, to feed her cancer cells once again.

What could have happened, had I refused to respond to those text messages and missed calls that registered on my phone last December of 2005? What if I changed my mobile number back then? What if I waited for God's perfect will? I know there is no way I'll ever find out and perhaps even if God will show me what life would've been had I waited, I will just feel terribly miserable.

Gee this is not even post partum!